Posts Tagged ‘kindness’

Kindness To Parents

Wednesday, June 13th, 2012
Kindness To Parents -darul ishaat

Kindness To Parents

Allah Most High has prescribed kindness to parents, to obey them and to care for them.

2 books by the same title, Birr-ul-Walidayn, or Kindness to Parents are presented in one binding. Quranic verses and prophetic traditions are interspersed with examples and real life accounts of the pious predecessors.

English translation by Rafique Abdur Rahman.

Cover: Hardback
Author: Imam Muhammad Tartushi / Imam AbdurRahman Ibn Jozi
Publisher: Darul Isha’at
Pages: 120
Size: 22.5 cm x 13 cm

Available at Darul Ishaat UK


A hundred ways to win peoples heart

Friday, January 27th, 2012

Anyone involved in a particular activity wishes to excel in order to achieve his objectives. The one who loves wealth specialises in accumulating it and further aspires to learn the tricks of his trade. Satellite television channels specialise in attracting viewers by airing a variety of shows using the latest technology.

Hey also train their presenters in attracting viewers for current as well as forthcoming programs. The same can be said of newspaper, radio and television. The same applies to those who market various products, whether halaal or haram. All these people endeavour to specialise in techniques that are needed in order for them to excel in their respective fields

Winning hearts is also an art with its own ways and means.

Suppose you enter a gathering of forty men and as you pass by each of them, shaking everyone’s hands the first shakes your hand indifferently and says very coldly, “welcome”, the second is busy speaking to the next person, and as you greet him by surprise, he responds to you very impersonally and without even looking at you, then continues with his conversation with the next person; the third person is speaking on the phone, so he simply stretches out his hand without saying a word or showing any respect. However, when you get to the forth person, he sees you and immediately stands up to greet you. When your eyes meet his, he smiles and demonstrates that he is glad to meet you. He shakes your hand warmly and welcomes you, even though you don’t know each other at all! You then greet the rest of the people and takes a seat. Do you doubt that your heart will have the most respect for the fourth person? No doubt  it will, even though you do not know his name, nor his status or profession. Despite that, he successfully captures your heart, not with wealth, status or lineage, but merely by his interpersonal skills.

Hence hearts are not won by force, wealth, beauty or status. They are won by much less of a sacrifice, yet few are able to win them.

I recall one of my students at university, who had become physiologically ill due to severe depression. His father held a high position in the police force and had come to visit me at the university quite a few times, asking me for my help with his son. I would visit his house every now and then, which was a towering mansion. I would notice that his house would always be full of guest I was amazed a how much this family was loved and respected.

Years went by and the man retired. I went to his house for a visit. I entered his mansion and went into the guest room to notice more than fifty chairs, but only one person watching television and a butler offering him coffee or tea. I sat with him for a while. When I left I began to compare his situation while the man was working with now that he had retired. What was it about him that had attracted the people then? I realised that the man did not win people over by manners, kindness and good treatment of others. Rather he had only attracted them by mean of his status, position and the fact that he was well connected. When he lost his position, he also lost the love people had for him.

Therefore, learn a lesson from this man. deal with the people so skilfully that they love you for who you are and what you say, and for your smile, gentleness and generosity. They will love the fact that you overlook their faults an stand by them at times of hardship. Do not allow their hearts to be attached merely to your status and your purse!

The one who provides his children and wife with the wealth, food, drink only does not win their heart by doing so, but only their stomachs! The one who showers his family with wealth while he mistreats them does not win their hearts; rather, he only wins their pockets.

For this reason, do not be surprised if you see a young man who faces a problem and therefore complains to his friend, teacher or the imam of a mosque, but not to his own father. This would be because the father has failed to win over his heart and break down barriers. On the other hand, it is the teacher or the friend, who has managed to win his heart.

Another important point: have you ever noticed that when certain people visit a gathering packed with people and look left and right for somewhere to sit, there always seems to be no shortage of people calling them over to sit next to them. Why?

Or a buffer, where everyone serves themselves food and then looks somewhere to sit, have you noted that such people, as soon as they have filed their plates, are subject to large numbers of people calling them in order to at with them? Whereas, other may fill their plates and have nobody taking any interest whatsoever, so they have a very lonely meal?

Why are people so eager to sit with one type but not the other? Is it not that certain people have the ability to attracted hearts wherever they may be, as if they are magnets? How extraordinary!

How did they manage to win people? by using clever techniques, to capture people’s hearts.


Our ability to capture people’s heart and win heir love brings us great happiness in life.


With the poor

Friday, June 17th, 2011

Many people today view manners in a commercial light. To them, only rich people’s jokes are worth laughing at, and only their faults are considered small and worthy of overlooking.
As for the poor; their jokes are unbearable and only worthy of ridicule, while their faults are magnified and they are shouted down.

As for the Prophet his kindness extended to both rich and poor alike. Anas may Allah be pleased with him said, “There was a man from amongst the Bedouins whose name was Zahir bin Haram. Whenever he came to Madinah for a need, he brought something for the Prophet  as a gift, like cottage cheese or butter. Likewise, the Prophet would prepare something to give to him whenever he wanted to leave, such as dates and so on. The Prophet  used to love him and say: “Zahir is our Bedouin and we are his city-dwellers. ” Zahir was not very good looking.  One day, Zahir may Allah be pleased with him left the desert and came to Allah’s Messenger  but did not find him. He had some merchandise to sell so he went on to the marketplace.

When the Prophet  found out about his arrival, he went to the marketplace looking for him.When he arrived, he saw him selling his merchandise with sweat pouring down from his face, and he wore Bedouin clothes which did not smell good either. The Prophet   hugged him tightly from behind, while Zahir was unaware and could not see who it was.

Zahir became scared and said:”Let me go! Who is this?” But the Prophet  remained silent. Zahir tried to release himself from his grip and started to look right and left. When he saw the Prophet   he relaxed and calmed down, placing his back against the Prophet’s chest. The Prophet  began to joke with him, saying to the public:”  who will buy this slave?! Who will buy this slave?!”

Thereupon, Zahir looked at himself and thought of his extreme poverty, for he had neither wealth nor good looks.

He said: “You will find me unmarketable, O Messenger of Allah.”

The Prophet   said:“But you are not unmarketable with Allah. You are very precious to Allah.”

It was no surprise then that the hearts of the poor were attached to the Prophet  He would gain their respect and love by such an attitude. Many poor people may not accuse the rich
of miserliness in terms of wealth and food, but they can certainly accuse them of miserliness in terms of gracious and kind treatment. How often do you smile at a poor person and make
him feel he is worthy and respectable, so that perhaps at night he might supplicate for you and cause Allah’s mercy to descend upon you from the heavens?

There may be a person with dishevelled hair who is rejected and not cared for, but if he ever asks Allah for something he is always responded to, Therefore, always be humane with the weak.

A hint…
Perhaps just a smile at a poor man would raise you in rank in the sight of Allah.


key:= Peace be upon him